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I’ve gotten my heart broken by countless people I’ve dated and loved; most of them in which treated me like I meant nothing to them. my first boyfriend’s name was Devin; he treated me as if i was stupid and couldn’t work on cars because I’m a girl and women aren’t supposed to do a “man’s job” and he told me that I had to stay home and cook, clean and take care of the family like a woman is supposed to do.
My second boyfriend’s name was Zach; he got involved in illegal drugs and gang activity. Zach had huge mood swings and would yell at me for nothing that I have done.
My third boyfriend was Kyle; he was really creepy by following me around everywhere and talking to me as if he were talking to an infant.
After I dated Kyle, Zach came back into my life four more times and begged me to forgive him and I fell for his little games again and again.
When Zach and I broke up for the fourth time; my friend Shauna decided to hook me up with one of her friends named Jon. Jon and I dated each other for almost two years. I loved him so much that I entrusted him with my innocence, but he took it for granted and cheated on me with whom I thought was my best friend, Karri. It’s been two years since we broke up and they are still seeing each other. It almost seems like they are rubbing their relationship in my face because every time they see me, they are instantly all over each other. I’ve lost almost ALL of my friends to Jon because he talked them into taking his side even though he cheated on me. The only friend I have left is Emily, and we’ve been friends for almost seventeen years now.
I cry myself to sleep every night wondering when the right man will come. I keep telling myself, “All I want in this world is to be loved unconditionally by a man who treats me right and will stand by my side no matter what. I know I have my whole life ahead of me, but THIS is what I truly want. I don’t care about anything else. I just want to be loved.” Just this Thanksgiving, my brother asked me if I had a boyfriend or anyone special, and I told him, “No…” After that, I busted into tears and ran to my room and locked the door. A few minutes later, my sisters came knocking at my door asking me what was wrong, and I told them, “I wish I had a different answer than ‘No!’ I’m not happy crying myself to seep every night! And seeing everyone around me in a happy relationship just reminds me of how lonely and heartbroken I truly am! I don’t want to spend another year alone without a hand to hold and lips to kiss. I want a man to tell me that he loves me with all his heart and actually mean it. He needs to understand who I am and why I do the things that I do; and even though I may get frustrating at times, he will never lose his cool or give up on me. Because honestly, how much more does my heart have to break, and how many tears do I have to shed before the right one for me walks into my life and makes me smile???”