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I don't really know what I'm doing... I just feel like writing something. I guess I feel a little lonely at the moment. My parents have some of my family over for there weekly "poker night", so I'm stuck here again, the only one to talk to my dog... And my fish... And anyone over MSN... And what makes it worse is that everyone is somewhere where I'm SUPPOSED to be, so there is no one online!!! O_O

So yeah, I said I was suppose to be somewhere... And I am suppose to be somewhere. You see, about a month ago, maybe a little less, my friend Garrett started planning this BBQ at his place, and when he sent me this RSVP on Facebook, I told him that I would go for sure. I didn't see any issue with it... But of course, I wasn't thinking like my idiot parents would. I mean, I've known Garrett for 3 years now, I turst him enough, but my parents.... -_-"..... They weren't "comfortable" with the whole situation! I mean, COME ON! Trust me god damit! Sure it might have something to do where Garrett lives, he lives in Dowling with is like a 45 min car ride, but I mean, dear god, just let me go! I'm not 5! It's just a little BBQ! I'd have freaking dinner and come back! I mean, they would never let me stay for the sleepover they were having, I knew that is the first place... Just cause Garrett's guy... Nevermind that he's GAY.. He's a guy, so he's going rape me.... God they make me as made a scrunched piece of paper!

Hmm, I like that saying... Just realized that. I mean, no swearing, so you can say it in front of the whole family, and it can make everyone's mind go all like WTF??!!?? which is fun... :P Pretty much what I mean is like... You know when you get angry you feel like your insides are twisting and squishing together? And it almost feels like your body is kind of scrunching together with them? Well, it's all like paper. When you make it into a little ball. If that makes any sense.... I'm not really sure, message me and tell me what you think if you really want to XD

But that's the biggest of my issues I suppose... Well, at this EXACT point in time. Something that is going on all the time is things between me and my bf. And this one I really do need help with. Don't care if you are complete strangers, I just need maybe a few feelings on the sitch.... So, the whole thing is not really that much of a terrible ordeal or anything it's just, well, we both feel like we're drifting from each other. But the weird part is, we still love each other, a LOT. I mean, we can't stand being away from each other for like 2 minutes, and we always hold each other and stuff... No need for details ;P jkjk But yeah, we don't want to loose each other, and yet we're drifting... He thinks we just gotta talk it out of our systems... I'm not so sure. This happens every now and then. To me it's like the second time it's happened. Last time it fixed itself, so maybe I should just wait like then, but then... The real question is, SHOULD this be happening? It makes no sense... In the back of my mind, I feel it's just cause we just got back to school and we're just trying to get back into the swing of things... But yeah, I'm realy worried.

Oh crap, I just saw this random girl on TV hold up this diamond thing, and it had a close up on her fingers and her nails were hot pink and like an inch long, it was so weird. Idk why that came up.... ADHD much lol But yeah, I guess I wouldn't have minded it so much or it wouldn't have caught my attention so much if the fingers hadn't looked so old. They looked like my grandma's fingers, kinda saggy and wrinkly.... NO one at that age should have finger nails like that. It's one think to get a manicure, but to have your nails perfesionally done so that you can look like your cat is not cool at that age. To me atleast. Though I'm also the type of girl that bites her nails, so maybe I really shouldn't be talking?

You know what I hate? When you are trying to play a song on the piano, and then someone just comes up and and starts hitting the keys, either trying to mess you up, or just cause they are bored or something... It's so... I wanted to slap someone the other day for doing that, it filled me with such rage. And I don't like hitting people :/ But, god that annoys me SO much! I mean, can people not just listen!? Think of the person who is playing. They are just enjoying themselves and entertaining passer-bys and then you come up and screw it up, make that composition a piece of s*** like THAT! I don't care if you are bored or you can't play, listen as if you have your ear phones in and the song is on you iPod, I mean... GEEZE!

Mmm, I think I'm gonna go now... My eyes are starting to feel weird cause I've been staring at thi screen for to long lol But I enjoyed that.... Let a little out I guess.... Thanks for listening! :)

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Tags: BBQ, boyfriend, fingernails, grandma, help, listening, parents, petpeeve, piano, random, More…sayings

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