Right now, one of my friendships is going through a "rocky path". I don't know why or how it happened but I feel betrayed in some weird way.
Sadly this is not the first time it happens, I lost my very best friend, the girl that was like my sister, a year ago. (Uh... and yeah, she's alive)
We knew everything about each other, we were ourselves when we were together, she knew when I was sad even when I faked a smile, she was always there. We were "soul mates"
After she stopped talking to me I was depressed for almost six months 'cause I couldn't understand why it had happened. The "official gossip" says I had a crush on her ex. I didn't. I don't know if she thought I did.That hurt me cause she could at least have asked. It's still hard to see her on the hallways and pretend I don't know her, pretend I don't care, when actually I do, a lot. I have to pretend she never was a big part of my life every day. I'm also a hypocrite I guess.
Then I started to do some serious thinking about "friendship". I found out that I had no real friends, just a bunch of hypocrites that wanted me to do their hw. I felt used, betrayed and alone. As a matter of fact I still do. Though I've found some "real friends". The kind of friends that don't betray you cause they know just the surface. The kind of friends that you laugh with, not cry. The kind of friends you can fool with a fake smile so you won't have to explain why you're sad.
One of those friends, that actually sticked with me when I lost Sarah (That is her name) a psycho girl called Sophie, well, she's not talking to me since we went back to school. I don't know if I did or say something, but she refuses to talk to me. I've decided I'll talk to her on Monday. Wish me luck, I'll need it.
Wow... I've got an anecdote!
It happened on wednesday, art class. My "teacher" Federica (hideous name btw), made us do some hand drawings in an impossible position. My neck hurt, my drawing sucked. She told me my hair was horrible. (Not True!) She let some students that "nailed it" go out of the class earlier. I stayed. Surprise. She was about to make us draw another hand in the painful ridiculous position and then I complained.
me: Federica, I can't draw that way, It's painful
F: I've done it a thousand times, it's not impossible
me *thinking* maybe that's why you suck *stopped thinking* But it's ridiculous, I have to see the canvas when I draw
F: If you draw that way you won't learn to follow the line
me: I know how to follow the line, I draw perfect hands!
F: No, you don't, and stop talking, things aren't the way you want
me: I know that *started crying in anger* and yes, I do when I can see what I'm doing! Besides I've attended art classes all my life, I'm an artist.
F: you're not, and please go to see a psycologist, you have mental issues.
me: *stood up; left the room*
So well, that's basically what happened, I talked to the principal, she's on my side :D, I went to an empty classroom and drew one of my perfect hands and then gave it to the principal. On Wednesday I'll see what happens. Wanna know how this ends? Stay Tuned!! :D