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My cousin told me today that the reason why my relationships don't last is because I don't want them to last. So this statement got me to thinking, maybe I do sabotage all of my relationships before they really start. I mean it is not secret that I have had commitment issues in the past. I have done alot of growing up since my last relationship and I think I may finally be ready to have a real lasting relationship and not just a one nighter or a short term. Although I don't think I can really trust anyone completely until I seriously get to know them first. I have been cheated on and used far to many times to do that. I mean I don't want to be a heartless cold b**** but I don't want to be used and thrown away either. In the past year I have not only been used by my ex-fiance but by friends and family too. Well I am done with being everyone's walking mat just because I am too nice to tell them what for just because they are family. It is funny I have no problem voicing my opinion and p****** people off when I don't know them but when it comes to friends and family I let them walk all over me. But not anymore. I am done.

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