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Dear Bill Kaulitz,

            I’m writing you this letter to express how much I appreciate what you and your band have done for me. Before I even heard of Tokio Hotel, my life had really gone downhill. For instance, every guy that I’ve dated had cheated on me, treated me like I was nothing to them, or left me for some stupid b****. Some examples of that would be that my first boyfriend was a chauvinist bastard who cheated on me and treated me like dirt. My second relationship, he was a drug addict. Third boyfriend was too clingy. Fourth, gangster, he was a Gangster Disciple. Then I dated the druggie two more times thinking that he had changed. I just wound up with my heart broken again and again. Then my most recent relationship, the worst one yet! His mother spoiled him SO much that he had these childish temper tantrums when he didn’t get his way! He also cheated on me with whom I thought was my best friend. She turned out to just be a b**** who just wanted whatever I had. I guess it was her mission to make me miserable.

My mom just lost her job after 35 years of working there. Not to mention, I’m suffering from a traumatic brain injury due to a horrific car accident that should have left me for dead. Do I dare go on?? Yes... I do... my family is losing everything we ever had. We nearly lost our motor home. We’re fighting with the bank to keep our house; my dad had to sell ALL of his car collection to help us get by. Because of this matter, my parents are facing a divorce.

I am 20 years old and attending college. I’m trying to get by myself. Living from paycheck to paycheck, and assisting my family the best that I can. I’m babysitting my 3 year old nephew because my sister is a single mom whose baby daddy abandoned them and she has no one else to watch him. I am a proud owner of three German Shepherds; I love them all to death. But all of this pressure is really starting to take its toll on me. I cannot sleep, I am getting sick more often, and I have frequent meltdowns. Nevertheless, once I heard your music and your voice, Bill, I knew that everything was going to be okay. That I will find my true love someday, and that everything will turn around for my family.

I was just accepted in a band as their bassist! I have only played bass guitar once in my life, but the person who is teaching me how to play says that I am a natural. I wish I could tell you all of this in person. I really do. However, I cannot afford to go to any of your concerts or signings. Plus, I cannot drive because I am terrified of driving because of my car accident. I am way to busy to go anywhere really. I have not even found time to go out to meet those gorgeous eligible bachelors. In all reality, it is not about how someone looks, it’s about the love you have for that person, and how that person treats you.

You are truly amazing to me! It is more like fascinating! It is not about your looks, fame, or money that has caught my attention. It’s just you being yourself is what attracts me the most. You have a certain charm about you that is so captivating that it makes me smile whenever I hear your voice, or see you do something weird. Trust me; I have not smiled in a VERY long time. I would absolutely LOVE to meet you sometime whenever you have the chance. I know you are very busy too, but you would make me the happiest person in the entire world. You Bill, are my inspiration. You are everything I ever dreamed of in a person, in a friend, a true friend. You are smart, caring, and willing to do anything for the people you love. I just love your soul. You warm my heart. Your success, your beautiful lyrics that you and Tom write, your love for him, just EVERYTHING about you astounds me!

When I hear your voice, I am immediately in a relaxed state of mind. It is almost like a trance, or meditative morale. You make me feel feelings that I have not felt in a long time. I am happy for once. You make me smile with every breath you take. You smile; I smile. You laugh; I laugh. Do you understand all of this so far?

Again, I do not care for money, fame, or beauty. All I care about is that someone is there when I need him, even if he is just there to talk to on the phone. I am tired of living a life without someone by my side. I promise, I will never hurt you, leave you, cheat on you, or disrespect you in any way. I will love you and only you with every inch of my beating heart until the day that I die.

Yes, I know; we are from very different cultures. You’re German, I am American. However, I have studied a little bit of the German language and culture. My sister says that dating a German would not work out because of the difference in culture and thinking process. I say different. There has to be a median somewhere. I know you have difficulty-trusting people because well, you are famous and your heart probably has been broken many times! Trust me, I TOTALLY understand where your coming from… but, how else are you going to find a girlfriend; if you don’t give her a chance to prove herself to you and let the love for her grow? Love takes time to grow. However, in certain circumstances, it will seem like love at first sight. So, do not lose hope. We will all eventually find love someday.

I know that it sounds like I am totally crushing on you, but all I want to do is tell you like it is. I am who I am. I am a compassionate, honest, affable, intellectual, and exceptionally gracious woman. I am more than willing to do what it takes to please anyone else before I please myself. Because the people that I care for most are number one and I number two. That is how I was raised, and who I am as a human being. In addition, I know that this all sounds too good to be true, but all of this is all good and is all true.



            Shannon Hawkins

Views: 123

Tags: Hotel, Tokio


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Comment by ForestCreature on November 15, 2011 at 11:01am

I genuinely hope that Bill responds to you... and I may be breaking all the rules here, but given how hard and tough your life has been so far... I guess, I would simply like to wish for you a heart full of happiness and a mind of peace...

I sincerely hope you find heroes by looking into the lives of others. Hopefully that it works out for you... but, if it doesn't, Please just look into the mirror..... that is where you will find your very best friend.... that is the real friend that you need to take care of for the rest of your life because she will always be with you.... and that Love that you offer up so readily for a safe loving relationship... first, please give yourself just as much value so that you are filled with the hope and confidence of a emotionally strong adult marching into the future of her life.... You should never be no. 2... I respectfully say, You should always be no. 1... You have equal value to any other Human on the Planet. 

And as far as that teacher is concerned, failing you and not reading your paper, the individual who seems to claim that they're a teacher, should be out of that classroom and doing the type of job that requires one to be a complete 'Bully' because that is devaluing bully behaviour

..... Try addressing the situation again with this ?teacher, politely but firmly. Write out beforehand what you want to say. And if that doesn't work for you, then inform  your instructor that you are going to address the situation with the Vice-Principal, and if that doesn't shake out some compassion from this so-called teacher, then follow through and speak to the Vice-Principal, impressing upon him or her how important a college diploma is to you due to your accident and the expectations and needs of your Family....

Life is living with both heart and confidence.... Hope this helps and Good Luck.....

Cheers from The ForestCreature.


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