Date: Sep 2, 2009 2:02 PM
Subject: I don't know why.. But he has always had my heart..fully.
So I totally just watched a video of the real Bill saying how he is jealous of Georg for being in love. And he wants to fall in love.
I'm a girl rl
and I have been following Tokio Hotel since Devilish.
Yeah alot of people say that just to be cool
but I really have been
And I'm a year younger then the twins and Bill has ALWAYS been my heart throb ._. Ive been through relationships boys and girls
and they all are like "you love Bill more then me"
>> thats cause I do.
But :| I know its a long shot in the dark and it will never happen..
But I'd love to just meet Bill and hang out with him, give cell numbers, chat, all that good stuff.
Not saying I don't want a relationship with my dear Bill ._. CAUSE GOD KNOWS I DO!
But I just have ALWAYS wanted to meet him. I've never had enough money to go to the concerts or signings or fan parties.. I barely have enough money to pay my phone bill.. It's sad really
I sit here at home, watching videos of him, download little things, save pictures
and I just gawk
And everytime I see his little smile? I melt for reals. Yeah yeah idc what you all have to say
"Well i feel the same way!" or "Dude your crazy its never gonna happen" or some s*** like that..
But fyi. No you don't feel the same way. You really don't. I'm not a crazed fan. I don't pimp out my s*** for Tokio Hotel
I'm laid back when it comes to my fandum.
Idk why I'm rambling, but seriously. Whenever I feel down? Or I'm crying? I just look at a picture of Bill, and everything's okay.
I know I'm not the prettiest girl in the world, and I don't live in Germany but I am German by blood, I don't have the perfect body, I don't have what he probably wants.. :| But I know I could at least be his friend and cheer him up right?
Gah.. Girl you've lost it...
Honestly? I'm crying right now writing this cause you all will roll your eyes and say 'b*******' and 'get over it I love him more' But you don't understand what I'm trying to say... you really don't.. Cause I know other fans have gone on about it... but I don't want to just be his fan. I want to be his friend. Someone outside of Tokio Hotel he can lean on. I don't see Bill from Tokio Hotel when I look at him. I see Bill Kaulitz. Just Bill Kaulitz..
Alright.. I'm done I suppose.. I'mma go back to weeping over myself..
^Yeah I posted that on myspace in a bulletin^
Sadly It's true. I've felt this way for a long a** time too. And I try to explain it to my friends and they all just give me weird looks.. So I'm writing it out. Even though all of you will roll your eyes and go on about how I'm stupid or that you love him more. Well..feel free. Cause I don't care. I really don't. Fight me for it, Idc. Just know, you'll never understand where I am coming from.
I'm just a country girl who dresses the way I want, does what I want, but in the end it all is just me. My dad always finds new things to yell at me for, but hey. I know what I like. I like wolves, parties, friends, hanging out, being just me, trying new things, music, art, etc. I admit. I get excited from time to time when I see new things about Tokio Hotel. But who doesn't? I mean their amazing.
This is gonna be a long a** blog ._. My bad. anyway...
Freely add my myspace and watch my stupidity --> http://www.myspace.com/nobodysblood
and spelling errors
anyway.. I know I'm probably never gonna even meet any of the four from Tokio Hotel. I mean all summer just went by and I had no money. No job. Nothing.. So what are the chances of getting concert tickets? Letalone meeting them.. But still.. I would love to be Bill's friend at the least. Wake up to a text from him cause the time zones are different. Or just going out to eat a MccyD's. Hell I love chicken nuggets ._. Oh taking Him and Tom to a scary movie so I can watch Tom cuddle his popcorn like a dork. xD just kiddingggg >> Love you Tom!
Anyway.. Yeah. -shrugs; Just a blog of hope, my dear friends... Cherry Tree? I'd ask you to help me out with a meeting, but I know Bill's busy and what not. So yeah.. -shrugs; Whatever happens, happens.
But just know this Bill. You will always have my heart in your manicured hands <33